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Every year as the holidays approach, I see the same pattern happen again and again in the crochet and craft community. Requests start rolling in. Expectations rise. Family members make comments. Someone wants a quick hat. Someone else wants stockings for all their kids. And many of us, myself included, start feeling anxious about disappointing people. I've been working hard on this aspect of my personality and spoke more about this topic in THIS VIDEO.
Today, I want to give you (and myself!) a gentle reminder:
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re taking care of yourself.
And if the thought of saying “no” makes your stomach twist because you’re afraid someone will think you don’t love them, or that you’re being difficult, or that you “must not be bored enough”… you are absolutely not alone.
Let’s talk about it.
Why This Time of Year Feels So Hard for Crocheters
People outside the yarn world often don’t understand how long a project actually takes, how much yarn costs, or the physical and emotional energy that goes into handmade items. To them, “whipping up” a hat seems easy and fun. To us, it’s time-consuming, skill-based, and often deeply personal.
But most of the time, people aren’t trying to be inconsiderate.
They simply don’t know what they’re asking for.
And during the holidays - when everyone is scrambling for decor, gifts, and “something special” - those misunderstandings get amplified.
The Gift-Giving Video (and the Viral Comment Section)
A while back, I posted a video on crochet gifts being rejected, and the comments went wild. The stories I heard were shocking: some heartbreaking, some encouraging, all deeply honest.
A few that still stick with me:
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Someone was asked to make multiple Christmas stockings on a tight deadline… only for them to be unused or poorly cared for later.
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People were unintentionally set up for disappointment when they gifted their crochet to others who didn’t appreciate it.
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Many crocheters shared that people assume they crochet because they’re “bored,” and therefore, any request should be easy to say yes to.
These moments hurt. Not because we don’t want to be generous, but because our time and creativity matter. Here's a BLOG POST with all the info on that video!
The People Who Love Our Work the Most Can Still Accidentally Hurt Us
Sometimes the people who adore our crochet the most (a sister, a mom, a coworker) assume the whole world will appreciate it just as much. Their enthusiasm is genuine. But when they request you to make something for someone else, and that person doesn’t value it, it ends up hurting both of you.
These stories aren't malicious. They’re just misunderstandings rooted in a lack of awareness.
Why It’s So Hard to Say No
If you’re a people-pleaser, this one cuts deep. And it doesn't even need to be the holiday season. Watch THIS VIDEO for even more help saying "no".
I’ve had times where someone asked for something on the spot at a family event, and although I had zero bandwidth to take on another project, I couldn’t come up with a confident response. I felt guilty for saying no, even when saying yes would have stressed me out for weeks.
If this is you, please hear this:
You are not obligated to take on every project request.
Even if you love the person.
Even if they’re kind.
Even if they’re excited.
Your plate matters too.
Preparing Ahead Makes the Holidays SO Much Easier
Here’s something I’m doing this year, and I highly recommend it:
Come prepared with alternatives.
Give yourself a few “outs” ahead of time so you don’t freeze when someone asks for a handmade item.
Here are a few ideas:
Have a list of handmade sellers ready
Spend 15–20 minutes browsing Etsy or similar sites.
Find creators who make:
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beanies
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stockings
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ear warmers
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holiday decor
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baby items
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whatever you get asked for the most
Bookmark their shops or put them in a note on your phone.
So when someone asks, “Can you make matching hats for everyone in my family?”
You can calmly reply:
“I’m actually at capacity with my own projects, but here’s a shop I trust that makes beautiful handmade hats!”
Know who in your community takes commissions
If you know a fellow crocheter who likes taking paid custom orders, keep their name handy.
Practice simple responses
You don’t need to overexplain or justify yourself.
Overexplaining is often a sign of people-pleasing.
Try something like:
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“I’m fully booked with my own projects right now.”
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“I don’t have the time to take that on, but here are some great options!”
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“Thanks for thinking of me! I’m not available for custom work this season.”
Short, kind, and clear.
If you want help planning your projects, watch THIS VIDEO.
Why You Don’t Need to Overexplain
People who don’t craft truly have no frame of reference for how long these projects take. You can explain your time, your materials, your effort but it won’t translate the way you want it to.
And often, overexplaining backfires.
You end up talking yourself into a “maybe,” and suddenly you’re crocheting something at midnight during a week you’re already overwhelmed.
You don’t have to defend your boundaries.
You only have to state them.
You’re Allowed to Protect Your Time, Heart, and Creativity
If you love making gifts, go for it! Handmade items can be powerful and meaningful. Watch THIS VIDEO for tips on streamlining your crocheted gifts. Check back soon, I'll be adding a blog post with that info!
But you’re also allowed to prioritize:
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your existing WIPs
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your personal projects
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your mental health
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your time with family
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your rest
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your joy
None of that makes you selfish or unkind.
It makes you human.
Thank You
Thank you, truly, for being part of this yarn-loving community. I love these conversations so much, and I appreciate every single one of you who shows up, listens, and shares your experiences.
If you’d like to join my free monthly email list, I’d love to have you there. Instead of YouTube memberships, this is where I’m now sending exclusive videos you can only watch through a link in your email. It’s completely free, and you can unsubscribe anytime. Get more info in THIS BLOG POST. You can even check it out before signing up HERE.
Take care of yourself this season.
Your peace is worth protecting.
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